Let’s challenge that dirty mind with some naughty and funny dirty riddles for adults. These dirty mind riddles with answers will make you and those you share them with blush all night long! Some of these riddles appear to be dirty, but are just riddles that sound dirty to a dirty mind, while others simply leave no doubt and can only be said with a wink and a smile. Perfect for flirty couples and moments of romance, these dirty riddles with answers will ignite passion and light up the night with the fires of love.
Warning: these dirty riddles are only suitable for adults, not for children.
Dirty Riddles with Answers
What’s a 5 letter word that starts with a “P” and women absolutely love to get their hands on it?
Show Answer
Purse
I am hard when you put me in your mouth and soft and wet when you take me out of your mouth. What am I?
Show Answer
Chewing gum
I am long, you move me around with your lips and tongue, I get wet with saliva and I get sucked. What am I?
Show Answer
A straw
What is the difference between a woman’s g-spot and a quarter?
Show Answer
Men actually have a chance of finding a quarter when they search for it
People come to visit me but usually don’t stay for very long. I can be clean but am more often than not very dirty. People usually reveal to me a part of themselves that they rarely show others. What am I?
Show Answer
A toilet
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What 3 letter word starts with S and ends with X and has a vowel in the middle?
Show Answer
SIX
You slide your fingers across me first thing in the morning, you play with me before you go to bed, I live in your pants, I am always in the back of your mind and you can’t live without me. What am I?
Show Answer
A cell phone
All throughout the day I let anyone who wants to go down on me. I let them go in and out as much as they want. What am I?
Show Answer
An elevator
What is something that is sometimes long and sometimes short, women love having them and commands a woman’s full attention?
Show Answer
Conversations
What do an eggplant, a penis, a celery and a cucumber have in common?
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They all have the letter E
What would you put in the Christmas stocking of a horny woman who was naughty all year?
Show Answer
A sexy coal miner
I have nuts and I can get sticky but you lick me off anyway. You can have me for breakfast, lunch or dinner. What am I?
Show Answer
Peanut butter
I am a word that starts with an “F” and ends in “C-K” and when things get really hot, I am exactly what you want.
Show Answer
A firetruck
What do you call an unsinkable virgin?
Show Answer
A cherry float
What has a head, a shaft, is shaped like a stick and is long and hard?
Show Answer
A cane
More Dirty Riddles for Adults
Well, since you’ve made it this far, then your dirty mind should be able to the uptight and straight-laced. So toss out the mental broom and dustpan keep going. You may have noticed many dirty riddles with clean answers. This level of teasing is part of the fun. The naughty riddles here are not for because we’ve still got some more of the best dirty riddles and answers that will really help heat things up with your partner. If you need to calm down a bit you might enjoy these riddles for adults. Again, these are for adults only!
Show Answer
They are both bushy
My load is sometimes soft, sometimes hard, is usually warm, and I am sometimes long and sometimes short. What am I? (If you’re looking for dirty riddles with dirty answers, here comes a very dirty answer!)
Show Answer
Poop
Where do horny women, prostitutes, and cougars hang out before they go to the gym?
Show Answer
Dick’s sporting goods
I can be dirty, I can be clean, I can be delicate, I can be rough. People sometimes shake me or smack me against my own kind. What am I?
Show Answer
Hands
I am sometimes long, sometimes short, sometimes hard, sometimes soft and not only that people love me and if you squeeze me just right then I’ll ooze out a little bit. What am I?
Show Answer
A banana
What is the difference between what’s inside a man’s pants and what’s inside a woman’s pants?
Show Answer
The tag and how sizes are measured
A horny virgin walked into the grocery store and went straight to the fruit section. What was she looking for?
Show Answer
A popped cherry
When people think of me, the word “hump” comes to mind. You can find me in a woman’s pants when they’re too tight. What am I?
Show Answer
Cameltoe
What do you call a penis that claims he’s not a crook but turns out to be one?
Show Answer
Dick Nixon
I enjoy a soft blow, but other times I need a stronger blow in order get all that goop to come out? What am I?
Show Answer
A nose
What do men have in their pockets that women can’t get enough of, go crazy about, and love to get their hands on until it is fully spent?
Show Answer
A wallet full of cash
Kids look forward to Santa for Christmas because he delivers and gives gifts to many. What was Santa’s job back when he was a naughty young guy and before he became a gift-giving and wish-granting legendary figure?
Show Answer
He was a pole dancer
You’ll find me on a peak, I am sometimes small and sometimes big, sometimes pointy. What am I?
Show Answer
A nipple
What country in Asia has the largest semen producing men and therefore has the greatest chances of having lots of children?
Show Answer
Cum-booty-a
I am long and hard and most people will happily spend their wages on me. After having me most people feel a huge feeling of relief.
Show Answer
An education
When you blow me I get bigger, and the tighter you wrap your lips around me the quicker I enlarge. What am I?
Show Answer
A balloon
Wow, you made it! All those dirty riddles must have made you hungry. Why not treat yourself to a few food riddles?
→We hope you had some fun with these challenging, silly, hard and funny dirty riddles for adults! Please share them, but only with adults who you think will enjoy them.
